April 02, 2015


What Not to read

One Star or Less


It's our duty as a reader to know about (but not necessarily read) the popular books (i.e. Hunger Games, Maze Runner, Divergent, etc.), to have read the really awesome books (see my Five Star Reads list) and to also know what books not, under any circumstances to go any where near! In other words, you need to now what to stay away from! From my own recollections, I've put together just a quick list of Book Warnings. (Book Recommendations of what not to read). All of these I've either started and marked DNF, or finished and looked at it wish disgust wondering, why did I read that?

At the Billionaire's Pleasure by MG Morgan

Carrie, our MC, considers herself plump and unattractive- and was literally whining about it the entire book, which was a major bummer the entire book. Then there's David Ashcroft, her boss. Of course. Yes, it's one of those totally cliché tropes. Which wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't so completely unoriginal and bo-ring! Not to mention, the dominant/sub relationship and the supposed BDSM was almost transparent. The dominant tendencies were showcased in commands, and the BDSM included a bit of kink that tons of couples utilize on their honeymoon when given a "gift bag" at their wedding. Just generally, don't read it.

Between the Lines by Jodi Piccult and Samantha van Leer

Written in by the mother/daughter duo, the beloved Jodi Piccult who always spins out tales as thought out as they are mature, and her daughter, Samantha van Leer, of whom I've never encountered. The result is Between the Lines, a train wreck children's book from the beginning. Problem is, it's not a children's book. Labeled as "young adult" and "teen", it was not. About a fifteen year old lone, Delilah, who's completely obsessed with this fairytale children's book, and one day, the characters talk back. This book was written as a total children's book, and it was not enjoyable at all.

Evermore by Alyson Noel

The first book of the Immortals series, Ever bloom can see peoples auras, hear their thoughts and know someone's life story by touching them. When Damen Auguste comes to school, he's the only one who can silence the noise in her head. Oooooh, my fellow readers. Pet peeve alert! Insta-love is my reading hell, and this book was no different. The plotline was atrocious, like Alyson just pulled different ideas out of her ass. She couldn't settle on personalities or characteristics for her characters, and it was just a huge mess, especially to read.

Darkness of Light by Stacie Marie Brown

I would recommend his book for no one that lives on Planet Earth and values their brain cells. I started this book and finished at 21%, but that 21% was extremely sketchy. To cement my opinion, I couldn't find very many people that enjoyed it. Like at all. Which sucks, because I kind of liked the main character. Her name, Ember, is super badass and her best friends are super funny and cool, and the total perfection of her physical description made my vision turn green. That, however, was where the good things ended. 3% into the book, and we encounter the insta-hate, insta-love combo. Watch his every move, ask about him all the time, a total Bella/Edward scenario.

Gone by Lisa McMann

Janie is curse with an ability that really kind of sucks. If anyone's dreams near her, she falls asleep, too and dreams what they dream. Consequentially, she's seen enough fantasy booty to last her a lifetime. The first book, Gone, wasn't as bad as the rest of as the series was. In the first book, the plot was as rough as it was but with the second and third books, it just dragged on and on and on... not enjoyable.

Falling Under by Gwen Hayes

Multiple choice quiz: 1) There's a new hot boy in school, but he seems to be something of an asshat, always blowing you off and parading other women in front of you. Would you... a) Tell him to fuck off? Or b) Try harder to make him like you. 2) You're having strange dreams where said hot boy appears and acts mysterious and tortured, telling you can't ever be together and you think hot boy is supernatural. Would you a) Accept it and run away b) pout until he stops lying. 3) A demon wants to steal your soul. Would you a) Panic and run b) be terrified and do nothing. 5) You're inexplicably attracted to a violently jealous guy who hurts a lot of people because he doesn't like you talking to other guys or dressing provocatively. Would you a) call 911 b) Be angry and do it more to make him jealous. If you answered A the whole way, grab a beer and add me as a friend! If you picked B, you just described this book and I have a good psychiatrist to recommend you to.

Forgive my Fins by Tera Lynn Childs

My opinion of this one is a lot like my opinion of Between the Lines (above). Marked as a young adult book... it was written as a child's novel. I didn't enjoy it at all... and I swear to god I don't even want to talk about it. However, talk about it I will. Seventeen year old Lily, half-mermaid, half-human, wants to live on land, and has been going to high school on land with a distant relative and seriously crushing on a bad boy with a motorcycle; classy, right? No. She's destined to be ruler of the undersea kingdom, Thalassinia. Now, this bad motorcycle boy is going to grow a tail (literally) and become a merman? A king, at that? No. Thanks. I like my men to be men, thank you very much.

If you Can't Stand the Heat by Joss Wood

Those of you who know me, even an inkling, know I demand strong characters. This book had extremely weak characters. The MC, Ellie, was being used and manipulated the entire story by her friends and her family members. In this Harlequin novel, the MC's lover, Jack, of course has baggage. But his baggage was completely retarded and asinine. I know that was insensitive. But it really was. Jack was so guilty that the guy whose heart he got in a heart transplant was no longer living. Like he wasn't dead before he got the heart, anyway.

My Name is Rapunzel by KC Hilton

The description of the book goes something like this... My tale has been told again and again, and I’ve heard each one. Except for my hair, I barely recognize the pitiful renditions. Muddled versions, crafted to entertain laughing children…but the children wouldn’t have laughed if they’d known the real story. It wasn't their fault. They didn't know the truth. Nobody did. My name is Rapunzel. I will tell you my story. I will tell you the truth. That sounded really good, and very interesting, I was excited! Until I got the book. It was about Rapunzel, yes,  but it was extremely weird. Her hair was some freaking magic solution to a drug trafficking problem and the romance story was total BS.

Not that Kind of Girl by Siobhan Vivian

Not that Kind of Girl was a pretty pathetic read. It was about a know-it-all girl, being a shit friend, shit girlfriend and casting judgment on everybody else. She was not a fun read and was impossibly boring and whiny to read. If you like that kind of thing... all the power to you. I, however, do not.

Sweet Addiction by Maya Banks

Sweet Addiction is part of a BDSM, erotica series called Sweet. Cole, one of the former characters, is still in love with a girl from his past, and he finally sees her again, only to find that she belongs to another. The book itself was actually not bad. It as the ending that was so out of the blue, not making sense nor was it the ending I wanted for my characters. It was not a happy ending, just one that was a compromise. This inherently pissed me off that I read the whole book for nothing.

Towering by Alex Flinn

 Towering was an atrocious read. Written like it was meant for nine year olds, and the storyline, too. It was nonsensical, boring and completely non-relating. The plot events didn't connect, the characters couldn't decide on personalities, etc. Just a bad, bad, bad read.

Watership Down by Richard Adams

 I know this really shouldn't be on this list, as I'm not much of a classics type. However, I came across the book I used for in my seventh grade year and it brought a wave of nostalgic hatred towards the book. Those of you who have read it may agree (or not). But, seriously, two words. Bunny. Hierarchy.

Wrecked by Patricia West

 I got this book as an ARC, and it wasn't much fun to write the review for it and send it in. But the main character, Lorrie, had very black and white views with no grey area. She was selfish and had the mightier-than-thou, superior attitude. Her voice was bland and very "I picked up my pink toothbrush and ran it across my teeth. When I was finished, I spit in the sink, wiping my face with the purple towel sitting next to the sink". No. Just, no.

I think you get me. If you disagree with any of my warnings, please remember the following: They are opinions. However, feel free to message me and we can have a friendly debate and pick the book apart. Those are always enjoyable. Please note: I never lose an argument. If you have something to add to this list, message it to me and I will make sure it makes its way on this list. Please and thanks!



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